think it has been a long time since i blogged. well, can't help it. there's too much things in hand as the prelims is coming. jus received news that there'll be preparatory exam for FM. 3 hours paper, 1&2 on the following wednesdays after school. i can't say that it's bad, as it can just help me prepare for my prelims. sometimes i tend to neglect my maths, especially when i treat 2 maths as one, and i'll put too much effort in econs, which i think i'm studying the wrong way. bleahz* everything just doesn't seem right nowadays, even my appetite. i can go hungry for a few days by skipping lunch, and today i spent almost 4 bucks on food and drinks in school, finished a packet of potato chips, when dinner is coming in an hour's time.

sometimes i look at the way i study, honestly i can say that i'm totally not productive. i juz cant get myself to focus on the work that i'm doing. sometimes i just think too slow, or take my own sweet time. friends from other schools finished their lessons, doing prelim/past year papers everyday, and what am i doing? i can still slack at home.

different people have different limits in managing stress, coping with studies. i just know that i haven't reach my limits. and everyone has different limits. i just cant find that force to push me to study, that eagerness and urge to strive and achieve. hur hur, one who has this eagerness must be insane. but seriously, i've to find that kind of push to bring me to study.

maybe i don't have a goal. maybe i don't have an ambition.